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Smích s osvícením, 8. část z 8

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The school has just released the grades of the final exams. Mom asked, “Liza, I heard Rose next door got 99 points in math. What about you?” So, Liza said proudly, “I got one more point than her.” Mom was happy, “You got 100 points, girl?” Liza said, “No, I got 9.9.” Only 99 points, and this one, 9.9.

A distinctive businessman, Jack, told his son one day, “I have selected a girl whom you are to marry.” Son: “But I will select myself the girl I will marry.” So, Jack said, “But this girl is Bill Gates’ daughter.” So, the son said, “Well, in in that case…”

At a party, Jack also walked up to Bill Gates, you know, the rich tycoon, and Jack said, “Let me recommend a good husband for your daughter.” So, Bill Gates said, “My daughter does not want to get married yet.” Jack said, “But this young man I mentioned is a Vice President of the World Bank.” Bill Gates said, “Well, in that case…”

So, Jack went to meet the President of the World Bank and said, “I’d like to recommend a young man for the post of Vice President.” You know already, right? So the President of the World Bank said, “I have a number of Vice Presidents enough already.” And Jack said, “But this young man I mentioned is Bill Gates’ son-in-law.” The President of the World Bank: “Well, in that case…”

Eventually, Jack’s son married Bill Gates’ daughter and became a Vice President of the World Bank. You know. So, the dad was successful. Businesses are done like that. I wish we could negotiate like that with Heaven. You can just say to the Lord of Karma, “You know who I am? I’m the Saint in Heaven.” Yeah. Because?

Oh, Mensch. We did talk a lot. Are you OK, guys? (Yes.) Now you may eat some (vegan) cakes then. Are you happy? (Yes.) Are you? (Yes.) Are you happy? (Yes!) (Yes, very happy.) (Absolutely.) Absolutely. There, boys. Oh, God. I’m getting old. I don’t think… There. (Wooh.) Waiting a long time. I know why you’re laughing. So that I’ll give you (vegan) candy. OK. Are you…? You guys are a little tired, huh? Tired? (No.) No? Really? Woah. OK, let’s go a little further down. Here, here, here. Hey, you here. (Thanks. Oh!) Oh…. (Wah!) Shake it up. I don’t know what it is, but it should be good for your heart. No? Be good for your heart. It’s good for your heart, no? (Yes.) OK. You know there’s one more basket? Please. (Oh.) It’s all yours. When we go out, give some. (OK.) (Thank You.) (Thank You.)

Here, [haven't] got? (Thank You, Master.) You have enough, guys? (Yes.) (Yes.) If not enough, you come and take some more. (Thank You, Master.) You have some, love? Here. (Oh, thank You.) (Thank You, Master.) Go, go, go, go. Come, this way, this way. Here. (Thank You.) Here, guys. (Thank You, Master.) (Thank You, Master.) (Thank You, Master.) (Thank You, Master.) (Thank You, Master.) (Thank You, Master.) (Thank You.) Thank you. (Thank You, Master.) Yeah. You’re welcome. When are you going home? (Tomorrow, Master.) When? Tomorrow means you’re flying tonight, right? (I’m flying tomorrow morning at 6:30.) Where are you going? (To Hawaii, Master.) Hawaii? Wow, that’s very far, huh? Who doesn’t have? Wow, big blanket, big expectation. (Thank You, thank You.)

Woah. Coming. (Thank You, Master.) (Thank You, Master.) You’re welcome. (Master has come.) (Thank You, Master. Thank You.) (Thank You, Master.) You’re welcome. (Thank You, Master.) Yes, yes. Coming. Here. (Thank You, Master.) Take it. (Puffed rice cakes.) Oh, wow, very good. (Thank You, Master.) (Thank You, Master.) You’re welcome, you’re welcome. (Vegan) cake. (Thank You, Master.) (Thank You, Master.) (Thank You, Master.) Have fun. Here, baby. Here. Here you go. (Thank You, Master.) Here, OK? Long time no see. None of you looks old; you look the same. (Thank You, Master.) Eat more. You are so skinny. You all don’t look old, none of you looks old. I don’t see you getting old at all. (Master doesn’t look old either.) Ah? (Master doesn’t look old either.) Of course, I am not old. Forever young. I will give you one more bag.

(Thank You, Master.) Hey. Did your wife come? (Yes.) Where is she? I can’t see her. (She is over there.) Where’s your wife? (She is the one helping.) That one, carrying the big box. (Yes.) Thank you. (Thank you.) Here. (Thank You, Master.) Here. (Thank You, Master.) Which one is which? Never mind. Here, baby. (Thank You, Master.) (I don’t have one.) Here, sweetheart. (Thank You.) Here. (Just poured them out.) Take it. This way is faster. There. Oops, here. (Thank You, Master.) Is it OK? Here. Is it not enough? There. This one. (Thank You, thank You, Master.) Here. (Thank You.) Welcome. (Thank You, Master.) You are welcome. Here. (Thank You, Master.) (Thank You, Master.) I only remember your wife’s name. I don’t remember your name. (That one is more important.) This one is simpler. Anyway, you can’t say much. (Yes.) As long as you remember the boss. (Yes, yes.) Everything will go smoothly. Here. (Thank You, Master.)

OK? OK? Here, babe. (Vegan) chocolate. Eat a little more, so you become more chocolate, more choco color. There. (Thank You, Master.) There. Take it home for that “bull-faced” man. Why isn’t he here today? Is he staying home to look after the kids? (No, he’s just got a new job, he can’t have a day off.) Ah, he has a new job. (Yes.) So he’s not standing on the street anymore? A new job again? Standing on the street waiting for the boss. (He cried a lot too, Master.) Crying? (Yes.) Oh dear, then give him a few more. Tell him I love him. (Yes.) See him next time. (Yes.) (Thank You, Master.) Don’t worry. (Yes.)

Here, baby. It’s cold? Is it cold? Are you OK? OK. Here comes. There. (Thank You, Master.) There, baby. (Thank You, Master.) You’re welcome. Oh my! Just eat whatever there is. (Yes.) (Thank You, Master.) Here. Travel safely. (Yes.) You’re staying here? (I stayed behind; I’ll go home tomorrow morning.) Going home tomorrow morning? (Yes, thank You. Thank You for Your Love, Master.) (Thank You, Master.) Take them home for the kids. (Thank You, Master.) For these kids. Alright, here. (Thank You, Master.) OK. Never mind. Sticky glue. Sticky glue. Here. Woah, a lot of (vegan) candies and cakes. Oh, yes. As if you don’t have it at home. Here you are. With my love, OK? Just love, not the (vegan) cake, right? (Thank You, Master.) You’re welcome, you’re welcome.

Anyone else? Don’t have? Go in there. Oh, David did not have, right? A gentleman. You are welcome. Come here. There. (Thank You very much, Master.) Your clothes. (Ah, clothes.) Here. (Thank You.) (Thank You, Master.) It’s easier. (Thank You.) Here, more. (Thank You, Master.) Come, come. Anyone? Here, here. Thank you. (Thank You, Master.) Welcome. You guys want some? Maybe later, huh? And did they give you three? (Yes, yes.) But that's different. That’s for eating right away. (Thank You.) Anyone else? Who... Who’s there? Huh? We go inside. (Thank You.) Who doesn’t have? You have? All of you have? You have, yeah? Enough? Come. Here. Yeah, yeah. It’s the same. Come. (Mine is just like this.) Next. Come, come, come. Come, come. There. (Thank You.) (Thank You, Master.) (One more.) Come. Careful, careful. (Thank You, Master.) You are welcome. Any more? Does everyone have one? (Everyone has one, thank You, Master.) (Thank You, Master.) OK. (Thank You.) Did not have enough, right? (We didn't have a lot.) (We need to wake her.)

You [got to] have a dream, If you don’t have a dream, How would you have a dream come true? He didn’t have any, enough, right? Did [you] give them a lot? Did [they] give you a lot or just a little? (Just a little.) Just a little. Here. (Thank You, Master.) Welcome. (Thank You.) Anybody? (He wants some.) (Thank You, Master.) Yeah, the hands are not enough. You guys are OK now? (Yes.) OK. Yeah. Never enough, huh? (Yes.) Never enough. Surprise! (It’s like raining.) Watching [them rain] from the sky. (Yes, yes, yes.) What rains from the sky and [is] very sweet? ([Vegan] candies.) You’re too smart for me. OK. Next one. What rains from the sky? ([Vegan] candies, Master.)

My God. Hurry, get it, guys. Got it? Got it? Got it? Got it? (Whoa!) (Thank You, Master.) You’re welcome. (Thank You, Master. Thank You.) You're welcome. Never enough, right? (Never.) Got it? Got it? (Yes.) Voilà. I’m so “angry.” What kind of people?! OK, guys. (Thank You.) Voilà. (Thank You.) Cameramen, right? This is for the crew. (Yes, Master.) Cameramen. Audiomen. (Thank You, Master!) (Thank You, Master!) See you. (Thank You, Master.) (Thank You, Master.) (Thank You, Master.) (I love You so much.) Meditate, OK? (Yes.) Or if you go home, then have a safe trip. (Thank You, Master.) (Thank You, Master.) You’re welcome.

Photo Caption: ‘You Are Sacred to Us’ “Tku Life-Sustaining Sun for the Graphical, Affirming, Kind Message!”

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